Tuesday, December 25, 2007

update on the pop wedding song...

Well, the bride balked at my insistence (thankfully, which the pastor supported) that the aunt whom the bride wanted to sing the 50s-or-whenever lubby-dubby pop song sing for me before we agree to have her sing at the wedding.

I’ve been burned once, and that was plenty for me, by “guest” singers who didn’t know what they were doing. Thankfully, a policy was already in place of approving outside musicians for weddings.

Anyway, the aunt lives out of town and so couldn’t sing for me beforehand - not that the bride would “subject” her to that anyway.

This is a couple that is opting not to have a Mass because they have an evening wedding and they want to get to the reception earlier. (!!) I hate to be becoming so cynical, but I’ll bet these are people who’ll rarely darken the doorstep of a church after their nuptials anyway. Chreasters, maybe, or PACE (Palm Sunday, Ash Wednesday, Christmas, Easter) Catholics. How else could they not think it inappropriate to sing “Oh-I-love-you-my-darling-blah-blah” in church???


At Tuesday, December 25, 2007 10:44:00 PM, Anonymous Alice said...

Going to church every Sunday =/= knowing what is appropriate in church. Sometimes familiarity breeds contempt. I remember one wedding for a couple of extremely faithful Catholics that left my tongue in danger of being bitten off. Oddly enough, I haven't had as many problems with "C & E's".

In my experience, funerals have a greater tendency to turn into nightmares when the family is active in the Church. I grumbled about one that I recently attended with my pastor and told him I was tempted to become Orthodox or start attending the SSPX chapel :)

At Tuesday, December 25, 2007 11:04:00 PM, Blogger Cantor said...


As usual, a good point well-stated.

At Monday, December 31, 2007 1:02:00 PM, Anonymous Gavin said...

I used the following speech with my last wedding, and I'll repeat it each time from now on:

"You appear to be in the same generation as me, so this should be relevant. You agree that it would be horribly inappropriate to have "Baby Got Back" for the procession, right? (they laughed and nodded) Well, somewhere between that and the Gregorian chant proper to weddings is a line to be drawn. My job at this parish is to draw the line.

Mass is not about you. (they nod) HOWEVER, if any Mass comes close to being about you, it's your wedding, so I'm glad to make concessions for music that I wouldn't make on a Sunday. But just know that while I'll be accommodating, I have to make the final call on everything. Again, that's what I get paid for. Now, if you have any requests I'm happy to hear them or I have plenty of music I can recommend to you..."

It gets the point across without documents or dogmatism. Plus my boss has offered me a "blank check" to refuse any music I judge to be inadequate. I think every boss ought to do that. As he put it, "if you're not competent to make those decisions on your own, I don't know what the point is in hiring you."

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